If I had to list the three things you can do easily, that would bring success to your life, these would be them….
1. What Else Can This Mean?
There’s a mantra within NLP that says “The map is not the territory”. Basically,
everyone’s map of reality is based on their own rules and beliefs. When a situation
occurs in ‘reality’, our interpretation of that event is decided by our internal filters.
As such you only ever see your own reality, never reality itself.
A good example would be an irratic driver. Let’s say a driver sits on your tail and seems
desperate to overtake, weaving back and forth to the centre of the road even if it’s not
completely safe. Maybe that means he’s an idiot, who shouldn’t be allowed a driving
licence who’s making you irritated, or angry, or maybe that driver has just had a call
from the hospital to say a member of his famiily has been seriously injured?
Every person on the planet will have a different map of reality based on their beliefs
about themselves, other people and the World generally.
When a situation occurs in your life that ordinarily, you’d have an adverse reaction to,
ask yourself, with a genuine sense of curiosity, “What else could this mean?”
Simply by asking this question, you open yourself up to a better, more empowering
interpretation of a bad situation.
Your reality is simply what you belive it is, so why not belive it’s something that
empowers you, rather than something that disempowers you?
So, from now on, whenever a situation occurs that creates negative emotions, ask
yourself, “What else can this mean?” “What else can this mean?” “What else can this
mean?” until you find an answer that makes you feel good?
2. What Am I Grateful For?
Being grateful for what you already have is a great way to increase resourcefulness.
If you find yourself stuck in the rut of worrying about what you don’t currently have,
and focussing on your own despair, you’re in no state to look at the wider picture and
the opportunities that wait there.
The act of searching our minds for things that we’re grateful for is a brilliant state
changer. It’ll improve your mood, make you feel more resourceful and stop any thoughts of
self-pity creeping in that can lead to developing a victim mindset.
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero
“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”
― Anthony Robbins
“Be thankful for what you have and you will end up having more. But if you concentrate on what you don’t have, you’ll never, ever have enough.”
– Oprah Winfrey
3. What Can I Learn From This?
There is no failure, there’s only results. The problem occurs because the results we get, aren’t always the ones we want.
This leads to a negative mindset that makes us abandon a project before we’ve really
The one thing that separates successful people from everyone else is their ability to see
failure as a learning experience.
They know that failure is just a step on the road to success.
Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything.” He was fired from his first two jobs for being “non-productive.” As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”
Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he succeeded.
Tom Landry, Chuck Noll, Bill Walsh, and Jimmy Johnson accounted for 11 of the 19 Super Bowl victories from 1974 to 1993. They also share the distinction of having the worst records of first-season head coaches in NFL history – they didn’t win a single game.
Successful people know that it’s impossible to be really successful without failing a lot, so, when they fail they ask themselves,“What can I learn from this?”
In any situations there will be something that you can learn and if you allow those
lessons to influence a change in your aproach, then you’ve extracted a positive from a negative.
Never leave the scene of a ‘failure’ without taking a positive from it and always remember, there are always positive things if you look hard enough.
If you were to write a list of the things that helped you succeed, what would they be. Let me know in the comments 🙂