Have you ever fallen in love with a particular character in movie, or made a hero of a super-star athlete, or better yet, aspired to be just like some very visible person just because of how they appeared to be on the screen, in the sports arena or in the media?
I’ll be honest. I have. I fell in “love” over and over with Rachel Green(Jennifer Anniston) from the TV show Friends. She was pretty and had a personality that was both magnetic, and sexy. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, she never knew I “loved” her. Maybe it would have been a match made in heaven, but more likely, she would’ve eventually had to reveal herself as a human being, as would I. She glimmers like a diamond but all diamonds have flaws. Even the pretty, sexy, magnetic ones.
It is so easy to see these superstar personas as people we want to be like or people we want to be with. They seem to have it all together, possessing all of the qualities that we admire and want to have for ourselves. These charismatic, funny, beautiful, well-spoken, talented idols invite us into their stage and arena lives making us believe that who and what we see are the real deal. If they do their jobs well, and the ones we are drawn to are obviously outstanding at what they do, we covet the prize they seem to already hold.
Say It Isn’t So
It is often a shock to us when we find out that our hero, or our movie love interest, has an addiction, hates children, is broke, or has other warts that are often disguised with make-up, or a super model on each arm.
Where’s the Glory Story?
My brother was a reporter for a midwestern newspaper several years ago and had the opportunity to interview Woody Herman, one of the greatest and most popular big band leaders in the industry. Being a fan, he felt excited about the chance to speak with Woody. Sitting face to face with this Big Band icon my brother was expecting an interview filled with the glory story of spending a lifetime as a performing musician on the road, playing for auditoriums filled with raving fans. Not so much. The gist of the interview was that the famous, seeming-to-have-it-all band leader was only on the road because he was robbed blind by a crooked manager and he would have quit long ago if he wasn’t forced to play to dwindling audiences, and live out of a tired suitcase due to his financial hardship.
So much for a glory story, but it is a perfect example that what we see on the outside isn’t exactly what is true on the inside.
Remember, All Diamonds Have Flaws
When I look at other people and compare them to who I am I work hard to remember a couple of things that help me keep things in perspective, mostly so I am not fooled by who I think they are:
1. Does their perceived brilliance shine through no matter where they are, on stage and off, in the spotlight or at the grocery store, in the arena or at the playground?
2. Am I clear about who they really are at their core and can I tell the difference between who they seem to be and who they are in real life?
3. When I look at someone in the spotlight can I see their true depth as human beings? Are they real? Do they care? Do they show their true selves in all of their strength and glory as well as all of their faults and flaws?
4. Does their fire burn brighter and hotter just because they are performing or do they bring that energy to their lives outside of the spotlight and off the court?
5. Is the sparkle that I am attracted to just smoke and mirrors or are they truly living their passion and it comes through in everything they do?
Here’s the kicker.
I then ask those same questions of myself!
When we eliminate challenges and road blocks to our happiness, empty ourselves of negative emotions and thoughts, we then can fill ourselves up with joy, success, wealth, and love, moving us closer to being connected to our ultimate selves. We move from challenge to choice, from being locked up, locked in, and locked out to feeling liberated. We can then go from feelings of inadequacy to feeling inspired and invincible, and from feeling blocked to breaking through to being the person we want to be, living the life we want to live, riding on the tail of the comet instead of being wagged by the tail of the dog. Go to http://www.jnepper.com to find out more about the Ultimate Self™ and what your next best steps are to help you find extraordinary fulfillment in an ordinary world. You can also check out my Facebook page, The Ultimate Self at https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Ultimate-Self/505803162771990.