I realise that the title might attract strong reactions, nobody wants to be unhappy. No one wants to be responsible for the bad things in their life right?
Unfortunately, you often can’t do anything about the situations that occur in your live. But, you can definitely decide what those situations mean to you.
As with everything in life, we get more of what we focus on. So, if you focus on a situation being upsetting, or distressing, you’re going to feel bad.
If you can find a way to discover the good, or at least acceptable reasons for a situation, you can feel good, or at least comfortable.
A quick simplistic example…
If your boyfriend leaves you, without any real reason, you can either explain that to yourself by thinking; “I must have done something really bad to make him feel this way about me now.”, or “Maybe I’m just a bad person that no one could ever love”.
Alternatively, if you think about it for a minute, you could see that maybe your boyfriend was just an idiot who was never able to commit to a long term relationship. Now that he’s decided to throw away his best chance at happiness, you’re free to move on to someone who really cares about you.
Either option could be EQUALLY true. So, since you’ll never know which, surely it’s better to take the option that paints you in the best light?
The fact that you’re feeling sorry for yourself, or running yourself down, isn’t going to make him come back. It will however, definitely influence the way you feel about your future relationships.
So, to change how you feel, ask yourself the simple question, “What else could this mean?”
Improve your questions and you’ll improve your life!
What techniques do you use when you’re feeling low, or you need a boost of confidence? Let me know in the comments.